Let’s Go Global with Artemis and Apollo
We caught up with British roommates Artemis and Apollo, also known as The Maine Coon Life on social. Not related, the these two are every bit of odd couple, yet have found happiness with their human parents, just outside of London. In between their extremely busy schedules, they spoke with Team CatCon about their early years, their respective mottos, and “Dr. Who.”
Where do you live? How old are you, and where did you come originally come from?
Artemis & Apollo: We are both just over three years old and we live in London, England, with our Hoomans.
Artemis: what I remember from where I come from … I had lots of siblings and one by one strangers came and took them away. I was all alone. One day a special hooman came and I fell asleep in her lap for half an hour and then she catnapped me. She hid me inside her jacket, while it was cold and raining. And then she gave me an entire apartment of my own! Until … a ginger ball of fur came.
Apollo: What I remember of the time before my hoomans: there were lots of other kitties who tried to steal my food, and I would biff them and sit on top of the food bowl. Then hoomans came and took me to a huge place where there was one scaredy-cat and I biffed her every day but she was so tall she could flip me over. I was very happy.
Artemis, you have a domestic partner… or is he more a roommate? Tell us a bit about your significant furry other.
Artemis: I have to share my space with the ginger monster who destroys my toys, steals my food, and nips me. What have I done in a previous life to deserve these torments? And there is a reason he is nicknamed “Poopy” but I am too refined to mention it.
Apollo: My adoptive sister is a stereotypical goody-two-paws girl who is not even remotely interested in PEP (Poopy’s Escape Projects) to crawl under the garden fence and explore the Dangerous Forests beyond. If she spent less time grooming herself, and more time studying engineering, she’d learn how to operate the electronic litter box which makes poop vanish by teleportation … instead of having to go the toilet in the garden (yuck!) like a Wildling.
What’s your typical day like?
Artemis’s daily schedule:
9 a.m. Wake up with hoomans and do my yoga stretches.
9:30 to 12:30 Grooming.
12:30 to sunset: patrol the garden. Scare the heck out of any neighbouring cats. They all know a lynx when they see one.
Sunset to bedtime: Grooming and snoozing.
Apollo’s daily schedule:
5 a.m. wake up. If the living room door is open, wake up with the Hoomans with singing. Otherwise wait until Hoodad wakes up and stumbles into the living room. Ambush him and try to trip him up. Remind him to serve up the wet food now, so I can grab the best bits, before Artemis comes in.
8:05 Go on garden patrol. Hunt for big game, and chase away intruders.
12:00 Sleep
4 pm Cuddle time
4:30 Sleep
8 pm Watch Netflix with Hoomans
10 pm Stop Hoodad working too much by flopping onto his laptop
10:15 Sleep
Midnight Exercise: chase Artemis
2 am: Sleep
Who is the one person or animal you’d love to meet and why?
Artemis: I’d love to have to meet Orangey, the star of Breakfast At Tiffany’s. He was a total professional and hugely in demand in Hollywood. But he would not suffer fools. If the hooman actors were not up to his standard, he would scratch and bite them. And if the scriptwriting was mediocre, he would just slip away on an adventure.
Apollo: I’d love to meet … Félix the would-be first astronaut cat! Just before blast-off, he did a runner! What a cool dude! A cat with more important things to do than fly into space. He let his girlfriend Félicette take the flight. I think Félix was more of an engineer than an astronaut, and he had important contributions to make to the colonization of Mars.
What is the one thing people don’t know about you?
Artemis: One thing nobody knows about me – and don’t you dare tell anyone or I’ll scratch your eyes out – is that I am a big softy and I love being cuddled and cradled by my Hoomum.
Apollo: One thing people don’t know about me is how incredibly modest I am.
What’s your favorite toy?
Artemis: I adore little soft balls and especially my fluffy white mousey-poo. I have to relinquish my more elaborate toys as the Ginger from Hell (Apollo) chews them up.
Apollo: I am too grown up to play with toys but I do have some cool research equipment, such as my robotic bug.
What is your favorite film or television show, cat-centric or otherwise?
Artemis: My favourite film is Assassin’s Creed. I sit and watch it for hours with my hoomum. She says it is a ‘video game’ but I don’t know what that means.
Apollo: My favorite TV series is “Dr Who.” We share the same sonic screwdriver with the Tenth Doctor! And do you know, I have my own Tardis? Whereas Dr Who’s Tardis is in the shape of police call-box, mine is in the shape of an electronic litter box.
What’s your motto?
Artemis: To err is human, to purr is feline. (Robert Byrne)
Apollo: Per Tuna Ad Astra (By tuna to the stars)
Follow Artemis and Apollo’s adventures on Instagram at @themainecoonlife !
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